Saturday, April 16, 2011

Goal and rest of today

I know I will have reached my goal when:
  • I hear people whispering about how skinny I am, how pretty I am, how much weight I have lost.
  • When people come up to me, grab my wrist and look at how thin it is.
  • When people come up to me  and actually say how wonderful I look.
  • When I can stand with my legs together and my thighs won't touch.
  • When I can stand in my bikini confidently on the beach without any board shorts and feel fabulous in the Sydney summer sun.
  • When I can wear anything I want to, including tights, dresses, short shorts.
  • When I sit down, all my fat doesn't splay out.
  • When my thighs don't jiggle.
  • When my extensions look fabulous in ballet.
  • At the formal, I find people looking at me and guys looking at me.
  • When I can run for 30 minutes and not feel exhausted.
  • When I lie down, I don't feel the fat in my but splaying outwards.
  • When I bend over, you can clearly see my ribs.
  • When you can see my collarbone clearly.
  • When you can see my hipbones very clearly.
  • When I start wearing my school uniform without my jumper on because I am not as self-conscious.
  • When I feel wonderful everyday and have a spring in my step.
  • When I look at junk food and go 'ew'
  • When I can look at other skinny people thinking they look good, and realising, so do I.
  • When my parents can't say I'm too skinny because most of it is muscle.
  • When I am less than 47kg
  • When I go to shop for dresses for the formal, everything is an option.
  • My ballet leotard is loose-fitting.
  • My extensions look fabulous in ballet.
  • I can wear my short shorts comfortably.
  • I can fully rest my thighs on my chair or seat.
  • When I get excited about getting up early to do the ULBHT or go for a really long run.
Today was pretty good. I didn't binge. I did eat a little more than necessary at dinner and I ate two red bean buns for dessert. I didn't eat the flour on the outside though. I didn't get the chance to go for a really long run today because of the stupid stupid rain. Maybe I'll have the chance to tomorrow. I'll have a 2 hour session of cycling and running. There will be fewer showers tomorrow.

From Monday to Wednesday, I have Duke of Ed which is wonderful timing just as I'm easing into eating better and doing more exercise. I will probably be exhausted by the end of it but that's always a good thing.

This morning, I successfully woke up to do the ULBHT which took me about 40 minutes but it would probably take about 35min because I was moving really slowly. I was half-awake ok! It made me feel wonderful throughout the day though. It was the same with Tuesday. I find I feel more awake, alert and energised if I exercise in the morning. Then I fell asleep until 9 because I was so tired.

From now on, I've decided to cut down on sugar too by using stevia instead. A main source of my sugar intake is the Forme yoghurt which I find can sometimes be really sweet. I am going to search around for a fat-free or low-fat natural plain yoghurt which I can stir some stevia and some fresh fruit through instead. It will cut down on the sugar. I was looking at Jalna's fat free biodynamic yoghurt but it has the same amount of sugar as Forme. Forme also has the artificial sweeteners and fructose is one of its main ingredients. I've decided to buy either the Gippsland Diary or Pauls fat free yoghurt. Both have no artificial flavours or colours so are absolutely plain. I will just keep servings smaller which is fine with me.

Another great recipe which I love with stevia is lemonade. I made some today and it was really refreshing. It had plenty of bite to it. Basically juice some lemons, add at least 5 times as much water; taste it. Then keep adding stevia sachets until it doesn't taste too sour.

And it makes my throat feel good. :D

Happy day. Much more improvement. I could eat less for dinner, and avoid the buns, but pretty good. I could also have cut down on yoghurt. I'm getting there little by little.

No chocoalte or junk food at D.O.E by the way.Because I don't need it and it makes me feel crap the next morning anyway.

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